February 2012
119 posts
1 tag
Fucking people letting their spawn run around, screaming and spilling milk.
And people wonder why I don’t want kids.
I don't fit in at the office.
Office lady 1: My 4 year anniversary is coming up. My husband and I are (insert some anniversary activity here. I didn't care so I didn't listen/remember.)
Office lady 2: I love anniversaries! I can't believe I've been married for 11 years..
Me: One time I dated someone for like 5 months….
2 tags
1 tag
requiemoblivion replied to your post: To the girls who annoyingly continue to chant and…
Chase them.
But then I run the risk of touching them and who knows what they have…
To the girls who annoyingly continue to chant and “sing” in the halls: You should have gone to a school that has a Greek system. Now stop being pests and shut up. Thanks.
4 tags
Loading... →
2 tags
Friend gets a girlfriend. You slowly become irrelevant.
1 tag
5 tags
“What’s a nice girl like you doing working in an idiot filled place like...”
– Nicest compliment I’ve gotten all day.
3 tags
So, either someone is singing and playing guitar out in the commons or a cat’s being skinned alive with a guitar.
3 tags
Becka: Ugh, I hate it when the inside of my nose itches.
Me: I won't judge you if you look like you're picking your nose.
Becka: I'll just blow it.
Me: If you have to give it a little finger action, it's all good.
Email gets hacked and Viagra ad gets sent to the teacher on whom you may have a slight crush?
No big deal.
2 tags
Voices
You know that ringing sound that you will perceive when you are in a very quiet area? Some people say this is an auditory-illusion brought about the ear’s inability to detect frequencies below the threshold of the human senses. This is completely wrong. That ringing covers up something else altogether. If you are quick, patient, and maybe a little lucky, you will be able to hear past the ringing....
5 tags
Why Men Are Sexier In Briefs « Thought Catalog →
If there’s one thing I’ve noticed about many men that I haven’t personally browbeaten into submission, it’s that they don’t seem to care that much about what they wear. And the only reason I have moved to Europe is that I’m willing to sacrifice men’s charming command of my mother tongue for their ability to pair a scarf with a button-down.
2 tags
6 tags
This is probably only amusing to me.
Cody: I wanna go on an adventure filled with dragons.
Me: Will there be Dr. Pepper?
Cody: Copious amounts of the godly liquid, as well as Red Bull.
Me: Can Henry come?
Cody: If we can animate him or turn him into a flamingo sword, then yes,
Me: That would be so freaking cool. Behold the mighty flamingo sword!
Cody: It would be. It would be used to slay flamingo dragons.
Me: Great adventures shall be had.
Cody: Laughs will be shared. Asian women shall be wooed.
Me: For you, at least haha.
Cody: For you, Indian men with English accents
Me: Mmmmmmm.
4 tags
6 tags
“So maybe there’s a war, inside of me and for me and maybe my heart is the...”
– Jamie Tworkowski TWLOHA
5 tags
And then she called me Yoda...
R: Do you ever look back on your life and think you haven't really done a lot?
Me: Always, but I'm still alive, so that can change.
R: I guess that's true, but when does the starting start and the looking back end?
Me: Well...I suppose if you're like any other realistic human being, the looking back never ends. You just can't let it stop you from enjoying what starts. Goddamnit. You're making me sound like a fortune cookie!
R: You do sound like a fortune cookie! That's so great....
Me: Punk. All I'm saying is you can't let slow progress be a downer. Now I'm going to go back to being a Negative Nancy. Thank you very much.
5 tags
3 tags
Plus side to living in this valley: So many guys with lovely beards and tattoos.